No house is a home without a cat.

Courtesy costs nothing.

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.

William Shakespeare, King Lear

It's better to give than receive.

Arbeit macht frei.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

There's only one certainty in life.

Better the devil you know.

This be the Verse, Philip Larkin

This is one of my favourite poems ever. I'm going to send it to a pregnant friend.

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

No wicked heart shall prosper.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

George Bernard Shaw

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

William Congreve

Christmas cards only exist to keep Royal Mail in business

This meaning was brought to you by corporate sponsorship.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

Aldous Huxley

Pessimism costs nothing.

Inside every pessimist is a disappointed realist.

This adage has been left blank for your own cynicism.